I have an old gmail account with my maiden name. I rarely check it anymore as it mostly receives spam. Sometimes though, I like going there just to reread one of my favorite emails of all time. It was sent to me on 10/6/11 – just 48 hours before I eloped with Mr. Bright. I’ve never been able to move it out of my inbox. It’s always there at the bottom of the page and makes me swoon every time I read it. The title of this post is the subject line of his email. I think you’ll agree, it’s anything but poor.
Where do I start? How do I put into words what I feel and have felt since the first day I met you? I think my actions speak above and beyond any words that I speak or write. Words that come to mind when I think about you: Best friend, lover, girlfriend, fiance, wife, confidant, baby, the shining part of my day…everyday. The impact that you have made on my life is truly unmeasurable Jamie Neilsen. In the time that I have known you I feel that I have become a better person and my drive has never been higher in my life. Thank you for that. Thank you for seeing me and accepting me for who I am, no sugar coating, you take me for what I am and there is something so beautiful about that in a world full of frivolous and fictitious bullshit.
You are unique, weird, smart, joyful, lively, beautiful, stylish, driven, caring, tender, selfless, fun, creative, family oriented, organized, sexy, petite, funny, personable, authentic, impressionistic, radical, profound, inspirational, pragmatic, realistic, vivacious, attractive, dainty, elegant, fascinating, shapely . . get it? No? Oh, ok, here are some more . . spirited, ravishing, apt, capable, wise, talented, observant, ingenious, precocious, gifted, straightforward, trustworthy, pure, exemplary, amiable, tactful, hospitable, gracious, sociable, elegant, cheerful, courteous, witty, persistent, gentle, considerate, determined, humble, tolerant, resourceful and loved.
Jamie, I told you this once before (actually several times) and that is “I’ve been waiting for you my entire life, welcome!” And I have always meant that but no more than right now. In less than 24 hours you and I will be boarding a train, not for Portland, but for the next chapter of our lives. We both have ‘been there’ before which makes me feel even better about what we have. We have a ‘gauge’ of sorts to compare this to anything else you and I have had in our lives. I think that is more valuable than anything else. Experience, more than anything else, is the portal to a long and fulfilling life together. We both know what we want in this life and it just so happens that the universe has connected us in order for us to live out our plans together. I couldn’t be happier with my life right now and you are such a significant part of that. Like you said yesterday, “The truth is that it is not because I can’t live without you. That’s not true. It’s because I don’t want to live without you.” Words have never been more true. I suppose that is why I get so emotional and weird sometimes because I don’t want to live without you, ever. It’s so nice to hear reassurance from you about us, it always makes me feel good. You, period, make me feel good.
Marriage is a risk, no doubt about that. But I feel that risk is lessened when two people have the communication skills and the raw, natural love that you and I have for one another. I mean, we both appreciate the small things in life so much which is transparent of how much we really do enjoy being together. Standing in the kitchen after work and talking, hanging out with your family, going grocery shopping and laughing most of the time, telling each other stories of our childhood, laying in bed having pillow talk, it goes on and on. I told you that I am a horrible writer (as seen in this letter) but I had to give it a shot. You, my love, make me the reasonable and happy man that I am today. You are going to be my wife in just about 48 hours and it makes me ecstatic just thinking about it. No shred of doubt pollutes my mind, I am 100% in, 100% committed and no monkey business flirting from me, I am so seriously committed to this relationship to let stupid shit like that take it all away. You have one of the most committed men on earth in your life right now, know that to be a fact sweetheart. Well, I think you know how much I love you and how much this weekend means to the both of us. Here’s to your Friday going quick and both of us getting home in all our giddiness. I love you so much Jamie Neilsen, forever and a wake up.
Happy Valentine’s Day Internet. Happy Valentine’s Day Friends. Happy Valentine’s Day baby. Thanks for letting me share the best and brightest of our lives with the whole world wide web.